If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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