I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize