Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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