i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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