Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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