Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.

(574): View more from Indiana

Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.

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(574): So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap. (574): Side Note: My mute button doesn't work. http://tfl.nu/2spl

Replies (10) Good night (593) Bad night (3593)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.

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(219): Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream. http://tfl.nu/v6je

Replies (37) Good night (6775) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?

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(512): So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!? http://tfl.nu/rmce

Replies (31) Good night (2929) Bad night (1267) Order T-Shirt
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(831): View more from California

I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE

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(831): I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE http://tfl.nu/5c8q

Replies (29) Good night (5546) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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(802): View more from Vermont

he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.

(1-802): View more from Vermont

it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.

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(802): he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont. (1-802): it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup. http://tfl.nu/03vx

Replies (11) Good night (3780) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.

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(817): he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes. http://tfl.nu/jo0i

Replies (7) Good night (974) Bad night (3150) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.

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(250): This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b. http://tfl.nu/l3kw

Replies (14) Good night (2496) Bad night (1005)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE

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(575): I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE http://tfl.nu/fcs3

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(636): View more from Missouri

He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.

(314): View more from Missouri

That was the greatest thing i have ever read.

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(636): He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping. (314): That was the greatest thing i have ever read. http://tfl.nu/0exi

Replies (34) Good night (6790) Bad night (1723)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?

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(228): I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL? http://tfl.nu/0gju

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(775): View more from Nevada

Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on

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(775): Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on http://tfl.nu/ndqt

Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (960) Order T-Shirt
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(973): View more from New Jersey

They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.

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(973): They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard. http://tfl.nu/pxmg

Replies (1) Good night (950) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt
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(623): View more from Arizona

I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby

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(623): I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby http://tfl.nu/cxps

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(469): View more from Texas

I'm going through a really dark time right now

(214): View more from Texas

I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up

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(469): I'm going through a really dark time right now (214): I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up http://tfl.nu/zlw3

Replies (5) Good night (399) Bad night (1247)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.

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(+44): We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever. http://tfl.nu/yqo8

Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt

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