The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize