Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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