i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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