Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize