this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize