Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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