considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize