I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize