This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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