in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
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i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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