The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
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Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
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the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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