I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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