There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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