STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
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I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
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We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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