I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize