He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize