yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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