I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize