Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize