just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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