Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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