You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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