you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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