no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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