Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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