The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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