i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
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I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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