so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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