now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize