it hurts more in the daytime
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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