Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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