Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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