I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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