He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
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Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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