you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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