He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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