giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize