I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
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We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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