So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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