Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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