Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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