he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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