I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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