Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

She's JV to your varsity

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(509): She's JV to your varsity http://tfl.nu/x8vj

Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.

(612): View more from Minnesota

May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.

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(518): I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day. (612): May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees. http://tfl.nu/b9l3

Replies (10) Good night (607) Bad night (1849)
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(404): View more from Georgia

he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.

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(404): he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip. http://tfl.nu/ir9l

Replies (9) Good night (842) Bad night (3830) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...

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(+44): i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now... http://tfl.nu/kqc9

Replies (12) Good night (5099) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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(517): View more from Michigan

These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy

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(517): These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy http://tfl.nu/omc1

Replies (11) Good night (3216) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"

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(603): He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories" http://tfl.nu/n295

Replies (4) Good night (1583) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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(956): View more from Texas

Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....

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(956): Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both..... http://tfl.nu/0n6l

Replies (4) Good night (1994) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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(251): View more from Alabama

I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.

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(251): I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this. http://tfl.nu/9nyi

Replies (10) Good night (1657) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor

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(580): There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/zpbq

Replies (6) Good night (730) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case

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(917): My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case http://tfl.nu/1awx

Replies (3) Good night (1709) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.

(1-916): View more from California

Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.

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(916): I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat. (1-916): Can we laminate it? Just to be safe. http://tfl.nu/1wiq

Replies (4) Good night (2441) Bad night (414)
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(415): View more from California

I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".

(415): View more from California

good luck with that

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(415): I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco". (415): good luck with that http://tfl.nu/41gz

Replies (4) Good night (816) Bad night (878)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours

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(337): Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours http://tfl.nu/650i

Replies (3) Good night (848) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
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(785): View more from Kansas

He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.

(785): View more from Kansas

Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"

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(785): He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him. (785): Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!" http://tfl.nu/v4v8

Replies (4) Good night (913) Bad night (218)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states

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(860): I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states http://tfl.nu/e5c2

Replies (0) Good night (618) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt

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